It’s 11:30 pm and I need raw cookie dough like I need air in my lungs.
I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna drive to Wal-Mart at midnight in my pajamas and buy a roll of cookie dough because I’m an adult with my own money who gets to make his own decisions.
I am so, so proud of you.
When kids ask me what its like to be an adult, I will show them this post. Thank you.
Anonymous said: How old is your sister? Is she single?
She’s 18 and you’re not allowed to hit on her until i approve of your report card, GPA, SAT score and a 5 page essay on your ambitions for the future